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Resources > Archives > Body Image & Self-esteem
Body Image & Self-esteem
QUESTION:
I was an overweight child, and because of that, I tend to have a poor body image. Even though I am losing weight now, I can't help but be critical of my still-overweight body and I feel ugly most of the time. Any tips on how to beat this? |
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ANSWER:
 You are right to be concerned, because harboring a poor body image can do more than hinder your weight loss efforts--it can make you downright miserable. Besides, no one wants to live like that anyway, as we should all be our own best friends! However, poor body image is very common. Many people who struggle with their weight have a mindset in which they put the cart before the horse. They believe that when they lose weight, when they reach their goal weight, when they get lean and fit - only then will they will be able to accept themselves and thoroughly love themselves inside and out. They believe that unless they are thin, they don't deserve to be loved or respected. And although society as a whole can be very judgmental and critical of large individuals, they themselves are oftentimes their own worst enemies - being more critical than anyone else. Start by recognizing that the only opinion of you that matters is YOUR opinion! Self-respect originates from the inside, from the self - not from others. Your journey to a healthier you will be greatly facilitated if it is preceded by self-love and self-respect. It is very difficult to take the necessary steps of self-care (i.e., good nutrition and body movement) if you don't believe that you are worth the effort.
If you have experienced the vicious cycle of dieting (i.e., feelings of inadequacy and discontentment with your body ==> followed by crash dieting in an attempt to lose weight ==> which inevitably leads to an inability to maintain unrealistic food restriction ==> followed by weight regain, often surpassing original body weight ==> which further increases feelings of failure and more discontentment), then this has added to your poor body image. Chronic dieters who have experienced repeated failure commonly bash themselves up all day long with negative self-talk. Re-wiring those negative self-talk tapes that are constantly being replayed is the first step in learning self-love.
A good place to start is with positive affirmations. An affirmation is a statement that affirms positive characteristics of your being. Repeating positive affirmations and concentrating on concepts of acceptance provide a gateway to achieving self-love. We don't fully understand HOW positive affirmations work, but we know that they do. Don't waste time wondering how they work, just take that leap of faith and do them! You don't have to believe them - you just have to do them. Much of the benefit of engaging in meditations and repeating affirmations occurs subconsciously. Take a few minutes at the beginning of each day and repeat the saying out loud to yourself, preferably while looking in the mirror. Affirmations should use words and phrases such as respect, cherish, care for, love, dignity, created perfectly, beautiful, treasure, worth it, whole, complete, esteem, confidence, empowerment, health, acceptance, and responsibility. Create your own uplifting affirmations that have meaning for you. An example may read something like this:
"I am beautiful, complete and whole. I respect and cherish my body and its amazing and miraculous functions. I love and care for myself at all times."
Repeat them throughout the day, especially when you recognize a negative self-talk tape being replayed in your mind. Affirmations gently remind you what your focus should be on and help alleviate destructive thoughts.
Another powerful tool for identifying negative self-talk, and subsequently challenging it, is the tool of journaling. Each day, commit to writing something in the personal notes section of your password-protected MyFoodDiary.com account. You don't have to write about anything specific - just write at least 3 paragraphs a day. Sooner or later, ideas and feelings will start to surface and you can confront them in writing. Always end your journal entry by writing a positive affirmation.
Be patient and gentle with yourself. Take special time out for yourself on a daily basis. Whether it is a hot soak in the tub or 15 minutes with a good book, allow yourself that decompression time. Remind yourself that you are more than what is on the outside and that we all come in different shapes and sizes. Refuse to succumb to the shallow criteria often put forth by society. Explore your interests and talents and focus your energies on experiencing life through those channels. Instead of concentrating on how much weight you've lost or how you look, direct your energy and thoughts to how you FEEL when you eat well and move your body. Always view your dietary intake and exercise as ways in which you are caring for and nurturing your body - not as a way to simply lose weight.
If you continue to struggle, consider finding a counselor or therapist to help you work through some of these issues. Oftentimes, having an objective party to help you challenge your self-defeating beliefs can be very helpful. Know that each of us has a purpose and a reason for being here and rarely does it have anything to do with how we look! Good luck and stay strong! |
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| Our expert, Dr. Sharon E. Griffin, holds a B.S., M.S., and Ph.D. in the areas of exercise science/physiology. She also holds a second M.S. degree in Nutrition and is a licensed nutritionist and an ACSM certified health and fitness instructor. |
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